7pm

motherhood, Uncategorized

You rub your tired eyes and tug at your ears. Your mouth stretches to a yawn but before your lips close, you let out a big sigh… trying to hide the sleepiness because you’re too worried you’ll miss something if I lay you down.

You’re going to be a handful, we say. You’re a riot, we say. So silly, so smart. But you are so genuinely sweet. So analytical and thoughtful. I can tell you’re really going to captivate us. You already do.

I cradle you. Once upon a time, I could hold the length of you with one arm. But not anymore. Now, your legs overflow off of my lap. You cross your ankles and close your eyes. No more fighting the tiredness. You’ve found solace with me. I am your favorite place to be; your mama.

I’ve been rocking you a little longer these days. I’ve been making up more verses to “you are my sunshine” for us. I’ve been sure to hold your hand while you sleep. I’ve been running my fingers through your hair a few more times than I did before. Extra kisses on your nose before I lay you down. Endless whispers of goodnight.

Moments are fleeting, I’ve heard. The days are long, but the years are short, I’m told. For every first, there is a last, and I savor each one as I know this to be true.

29

motherhood, Uncategorized

I wake up to “ba-ba” sounds coming from across the hall. 6:50am. Grace slept in… yes! It’s still dark outside and it’s chilly in our house. I roll over. Corey whispers, “Happy birthday” and gives me a kiss. I smile and make my way out of bed. I open Grace’s door and even though the sun hasn’t risen and her room is still dark, I can see her sleepy eyes and two-toothed smile. She’s bouncing up and down in her crib without lifting her feet, anxiously waiting for me to come scoop her up. I do, and she starts whispering ma-ma’s as we make our way back into our bedroom. I lay her down in our bed and climb in myself. The three of us are cozy for a moment, until Grace crawls over us both like we’re a playground. My favorite 15 minutes of the day.

Corey and I throw on jeans, get the baby dressed, and the three of us are out the door. He drives us into the city to pick up coffee. The man behind us in line at the cafe is holding one of those small foil balloons that belong in a vase of flowers and Grace cannot stop staring at it. I fall in love with how new everything is to her. I make a mental note to pick one up for her next time we’re at the grocery store.

We stop to pick out donuts on the way home. I order one with vanilla frosting and rainbow sprinkles. Corey tells the cashier I’ll also have the pumpkin streusel flavor. It is my birthday, after all. I make big eyes and act like that’s just crazy, but I eat both, happily. Corey has Grace sitting on his knee and I let her try some icing, but she is more concerned about her next banana puff. We finish and leave, a sugar haze around us.

Corey holds my hand the entire drive back in the car. Grace goes down for a nap when we get home and I collapse on the couch, closing my eyes in thankfulness. I open them and ask Corey to come sit next to me. We talk, look at home furnishing ideas for the investment property, and just exist next to each other. Never mind the dishes, the toys on the floor that we so often trip over, or the half-completed first birthday invitations and envelopes I have strewn across the ottoman. The mess can stay today.

Maybe this isn’t a birthday morning that some would call extraordinary. To me, it is magic. I want to soak in and remember every detail. When I turned 27, I was heartbroken. When I turned 28, I dreamt of this day.

How grateful am I that no matter how much I change year to year, God NEVER does. He is with me today just as much as he was in years past, and not any less than he will be in the future. 27 was a time to lose, a time to embrace. 28 was a time to heal, a time to plant. I don’t know what 29 will bring, but he does. Maybe it will be a great year by definition; maybe it will be the most heartbreaking yet. Regardless, I trust him and am thankful for this season of peace.

For everything there is a season, and a tie for every matter under heaven:
a time to be born, and a time to die;
a time to plant, and a time to pluck up what is planted;
a time to kill, and a time to heal;
a time to break down, and a time to build up;
a time to weep, and a time to laugh;
a time to mourn, and a time to dance;
a time to cast away stones, and a time to gather stones together;
a time to embrace, and a time to refrain from embracing;
a time to seek, and a time to lose;
a time to keep, and a time to cast away;
a time to tear, and a time to sew;
a time to keep silence, and a time to speak;
a time to love, and a time to hate;
a time for war, and a time for peace.
Ecclesiastes 3:1-8

having my pumpkin and eating it too

wellness

I don’t know when enjoying pumpkin-everything made a girl “basic” but if loving pumpkin is wrong, I don’t want to be right. It’s my birthday at the end of the week and I wanted to enjoy SOMEthing pumpkin without feeling like I completely went off track with healthy eating. So I found a weight watchers recipe for pumpkin spice cupcakes and adapted it a bit. In all fairness, my recipe is more like a muffin vs. a cupcake because there is no icing happening here!

Makes 12 regular-sized muffins

Ingredients:

  • 1/2 box of Duncan Hines spice cake box mix
  • 1/2 banana
  • 3/4 cup canned pumpkin
  • 2 eggs
  • 2 scoops vanilla protein
  • 1/2 cup water
  • Pumpkin pie spice to top

Mix all ingredients (excluding the spice) with a mixer, fill cupcake tray with mix, top each one with sprinkle of spice before popping in the oven for 16 minutes at 325 degrees.

Yes, it’s THAT simple. AND they are husband-approved!

I ate one right out of the oven with some fat free Reddi whip on top.

No clue what the calorie/macro breakdown is because I’m not logging numbers/counting anything these days… but I do know that I don’t feel guilty for having one. #nonscalevictory

My PSL substitution

wellness

Before indulging, I’ve been asking myself…will this get me closer to my goal, or will it keep me stationary?

I admittedly had 1 PSL and decided it was not worth all of the carbs and sugar! Plus, I would like to lose the rest of this weight so I can wear my fall and winter clothing! PSLs are unfortunately NOT going to get me closer to that goal!

Here’s how I’m enjoying my pumpkin…!

Ingredients:

– dash pumpkin pie spice

– Green Mountain pumpkin spice coffee k-cup

– splash of milk

– 2 sweet n low packets

– 1/2 Gerbers pumpkin baby food (trust me on this one – it’s a thinner consistency than the canned purée and mixes well)

– 3 sweet leaf English toffee drops

Optional – fat free whipped cream on top!

Combine and enjoy all the warm and fuzzy feelings fall brings!

gracie’s nursery

homemaking

When found out we were having a girl, I was so excited to decorate the nursery! I knew I wanted it to be pink and grey, with white furniture. The interesting thing about Gracie’s nursery now is that most of the large items (furniture, lighting, chair) were purchased for her bedroom in our first house – which was much smaller and had a sloped ceiling.

We moved when Grace was 3 months old (wouldn’t recommend it), and our entire home was painted the same griege color. Depending on the lighting, sometimes it throws grey, sometimes it throws beige. I was way too tired after the move to think about painting it grey like her first nursery, so we’ve made it work!

So many of these items were found over the course of pregnancy and after she was here! I love the feeling of finding just the right accent… and I will be patient and refrain from buying until I get that feeling. I finally feel like I have ‘completed’ her new nursery (except for a mirror above her dresser when she is no longer being changed on top of it) and am so excited to share it, it was planned with so much love!


This elephant… I found at the PB Outlet! It was the first ‘gift’ I bought for Grace when we found out we were having a little girl.
Guests of our baby shower brought books instead of cards, so I wanted to make sure we had shelving for Grace’s little library. I loved the idea of these shelves and imagined her being old enough to pick a book for me to read to her.

This is real life… 🙂

Thanks for taking a look at our sweet girl’s room!