internal conflict vs. external confrontation


I am not a fan of confrontation. I freeze. I cry. I feel cornered. I run. But why? Is it because confrontation can lead to conflict? Well, I think conflict is something we should embrace. If respectfully approached, conflict can change someone’s opinion or day or work or relationship with you. It can help you grow.

I recently was approached by someone about an issue that had to do with someone else. While I believe the person who initiated the message meant well, I immediately felt angry that they had not come straight to me. I stewed. I judged. I felt defensive.
Then I realized that maybe this person feels uncomfortable with confrontation and conflict too. I approached them. I expressed myself respectfully, and the response was matched. Problem (that I created in my head). Solved.
Had I let myself continue to overthink, I would have held a grudge the entire day. Instead, the issue (that I had honestly blown up into something more than what it was) was resolved within a matter of minutes.
This experience was just a reminder that conflict and confrontation do not always hold true to their negative connotations. We try to avoid conflict with someone face-to-face, but letting an issue resonate inside of us usually drives internal conflict (that is sooner or later) reflected outwardly.
Instead of holding it all in, why don’t we challenge ourselves to be a little bit uncomfortable for the greater good?

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